The Hunt for the Worst Musical Act King Uszniewicz and the Uszniewicztones The

The Hunt for the Worst Musical Act: King Uszniewicz and the Uszniewicztones & The Shaggs

People often request bands for me to include in the hunt, and I often listen to the band and either feel so traumatised there are no words to describe my pain, or alternatively, think the band is not horrible enough to deserve to be compared to Brokencyde. As such, I've been spoiling you all. As much as we all hate Brokencyde and the Millionaires, they do actually know how to operate Garageband/Auto-tuner - they're just void of any conceptual worth. It's time for the hunt to get back to basics. Very basic. So basic, the bands I am about to introduce can't even operate their instruments.

King Uszniewicz and the Uszniewicztones

I want you to imagine that garage band you were in when you were 14. Remember how bad it was? Ok. Now I want you to imagine that no one in your band actually knows how to play their instrument. Now I want you to imagine if all of your band members were playing to a different time signature. Now imagine everyone in your band is drunk and your saxophonist is high. Just let this simmer in your mind for a moment. Have you visualised how horrendously painful this is? How utterly unlistenable this would be?

King Uszniewicz and the Uszniewicztones are worse.

There are no words.

Ok, so maybe there are a few. Suckful. Out of time. Painful. WHYYYYYY.

Someone get a rifle and shoot the saxophonist. And the whole band, while they're at it.

The Shaggs

I have a theory about the origin of this band. They had never heard music before, and decided to make music with only the loosest idea of what music should sound like. None had ever even seen a fucking guitar before the moment they were put in a recording studio. The result is pure tragedy, so horrible and gut-wrenching not even Shakespeare could have thought it up. Their drummer is several beats infront, their guitarist several behind. Their lyrics are so cliched and Forrest-Gump-esque that not even the Disney Channel would touch them. And their voices are so grating that Chad Krueger begins to sound like an angel.

This band is probably one of the worst I've encountered.

Ready to kill yourself yet?

Nevermind who are the parents, WHERE ARE THE PARENTS AND WHY ISNT THERE A "MOTHER'S AGAINST GROUP"?

The band's accolates include rated being rated the 2nd best band ever by Frank Zappa and (somehow) having a tribute album named "Better than the Beatles".

There is no God.

Oldest Newest

Comments (15)

	Regina❤: 10/29/2009 5:54 AM I couldn't get through 5 seconds for any of the 'songs'. At least I managed to last a few seconds more for Brokencyde and Millionaires. I think.
	Alcy: 10/29/2009 6:59 AM Dude. That last one, I could picture the audio sped up and slowed down and played on some psycho carnival ride. How long have you been doing this project? I have a total treat in store for you, BTW.
	Seb ™★★★: 10/29/2009 7:28 AM I loved the one about the cat called football. lmfao
	Seb ™★★★: 10/29/2009 7:31 AM For reelz it sounds like 5 years who can't play instruments or sing.
	AVADA KEDAVRA: 10/29/2009 8:13 AM OMG THE HUNT IS BACK :D :D
	Em is for ily: 10/29/2009 9:55 AM I'm...I'm just confused.
	Bye Bye Blackbird: 10/29/2009 11:05 AM My ears are bleeding.
	Buzznet's Official New Age Amazon: 10/29/2009 11:09 AM OMG Y CAN'T U UNDERSATND THAT MUSIC IS SUPOSED 2 B FUN AND U CANT MAKE FUN OF THEM UNLESS UR IN A BAND! OBVIOESLY THEY HAS FANS SO U SOME1 LIEKS IT AND SO U CANT MAKE FUN OF THEM Y DONT U TALK ABOUT A BAND U LIEK INSTEAD? Did I cover all the "hater" bases yet? Just want to get it out there early. Though if anyone actually defends this crap I'll be surprised.
	Andi.: 10/29/2009 11:30 AM ...that's like when my band instructor in 8th grade was like, "Okay, everyone, take five minutes to warm up." And if someone recorded it and sold it.
	Alexher123: 10/29/2009 1:18 PM I actually absolutely love the shaggs, their music isn't for everyone but as outsider music its actually amazing and is pretty influential in some circles of alternative music. In some way its complete lack of influence, the fact it sounds like nothing else really absolutely appeals to me. And King Uszniewicz and the Uszniewicztones, I won't lie, im going to go listen to more of them right now. Im intrigued.
	Mark Reads Twilight: 10/29/2009 1:24 PM xxmjscenexx said: OMG THE HUNT IS BACK :D :D MY GOD I LOVE THIS GIF SO MUCH. I can't listen to King Uszniewicz. The Shaggs aren't bad to me. Just strange.
	0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3: 10/29/2009 2:43 PM How do you pronounce the first bands name? =/
	Ikky-ikky-arriba!: 10/29/2009 3:32 PM alcy said: Dude. That last one, I could picture the audio sped up and slowed down and played on some psycho carnival ride. How long have you been doing this project? I have a total treat in store for you, BTW. I've been doing it for a while... I'm just lazy with doing write-ups :P
	The Absent-Minded Professor.: 10/29/2009 7:47 PM I'm a hog for you, baby. Really.
	The Absent-Minded Professor.: 10/29/2009 7:50 PM Also, because "Mothers Against The Shaggs" sounds absolutely ridiculous.